"John Wayne Gacy, Jr." - Sufjan Stevens

His father was a drinker 
And his mother cried in bed 
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts 
When the swingset hit his head 
The neighbors they adored him 
For his humor and his conversation 
Look underneath the house there 

Find the few living things 
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead 
Twenty-seven people, even more 
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs 
Oh my God 


Are you one of them? 


He dressed up like a clown for them 
With his face paint white and red 
And on his best behavior 
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all 
He'd kill ten thousand people 
With a sleight of his hand 
Running far, running fast to the dead 
He took off all their clothes for them 
He put a cloth on their lips 
Quiet hands, quiet kiss 
On the mouth 


And in my best behavior 
I am really just like him 
Look beneath the floorboards 
For the secrets I have hid


This song is incredibly sad and powerful. Every time I listen to it, I feel myself blown away by the message Sufjan Stevens portrays. The story and philosophy of this song are amazing. I remember having many conversations about the last two lines of the song, which is ultimately what this song is about. It's not celebrating what John Gacy did, but reminding people that we are no better than he, when we so often would like to think that we are. This song also shows the potential of any person to become the worst. All humans are naturally in a horrible state, most people refrain from horrible actions like murder, but can't quite get away from the horrible thoughts that lead to the actions like anger, hatred, jealousy, and the like. The thoughts are just as bad as the actions.

1 John 3:15 (ESV)
"Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."

Listening to this song nearly brought me to tears this specific time. Honestly, I would like to think I'm better than a serial killer, but how many times have I hated my brother? Probably more than 10,000 times. Every time I listen to this song, it's a slap in the face waking me up to the reality that I am not perfect, that I need to grow, that I need to learn, that I need to love, that I need some help for everything that I need to do. Honestly, there is no way I could do all this on my own.