The morning was light and grey. The sun had risen but was hidden behind a shroud of this clouds. He was slowly awoken by the brightness from the window next to the bed. He got up slowly as to not awaken his wife. Sitting in the chair he had placed in front of the window just for moments like these, he pondered. The cloudy sunrise very much reflected the emotions of the morning, dim but yet promising. It had been a year since he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer; he could feel the treatment wearing him thin. He was overcome with guilt; he had promised to provide for her from the moment he said, “I do.” That moment of provision only lasted about one year. He couldn’t help but feel like a bad husband.
“My wife. My beautiful wife,” he whispered to her. There she was, lying there in the bed, calm and quiet, peaceful and graceful in her sleep. He looked at her hair, long, beautiful brown hair that curled in the most beautiful ways and contrasted with his hair, thinned, nearly gone from the treatment. There she lie, still. He admired her strength, she held him together through the bad news and the very little good news. How much he wanted to just lie there with her, hold her and show her how grateful he was, he knew he couldn’t have done it without her. “Thanks for marrying me, sweetie,” he whispered to her from the side of the bed. His thoughts went to their wedding day, only four months before the diagnosis, the best day of his life, he was sure of it. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Watching her walk down the aisle was the best part, knowing that he would always be hers and she would always be his. Always was shorter than he thought.
His eyes went back to the window. It was hard to think that this life, his life, would ever end, but what would happen when it did? People told him not to think about that, to enjoy life as he had it, but he had to think about it. Death was inevitable. It happened to everyone but was bound to him. Lives would continue without him, everyone would move on and then eventually meet him again after their own death. Death didn’t frighten him. The world just seemed empty in the grey abyss that took over the sky. He knew there was more to experience away from this life. Death now thrilled him. The only thing that kept him bound to this earth was the family he cared for; he didn’t want to leave his potential family, and he especially didn’t want to leave her. She bound him to this earth.
Staring at her, he slowly moved back to the bed. He caressed her hair while he watched her sleep, wanting to join her in her dreams, but he knew it was time for him to let go. “I love you. I will always love you,” he said one last time to his wife. While she was still asleep, she grabbed his arm and pulled him in as she whispered back “I love you too.” He kept his arm around her waste as he slowly slipped away.
His wife awoke several hours later to a bright, sunny morning; his arm was still wrapped around her. She kissed his hand and wished him a good morning. His hand felt cold. Panicking, her heart dropped. Not knowing what to do, she called 9-1-1, hoping that they could save him. She forever remembered that sunny day and the feel of her husbands arm around her.
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